My son turned thirteen.
I’m sure you are well aware of this since I can’t stop talking about it. He grew a foot, his voice became both crackly and monosyllabic simultaneously. I now buy skin care products for two. And there are braces happening. And so much food.
The shift has sent me down a well of introversion so epic that remembering the last time I did mascara seems like an out of body experience.
Photos of me at events look like the antics of a twin. She wears dresses. I wear sweats. She makes me tired – so I take a nap.
Yesterday, during a podcast interview, the host asked me what my “morning health ritual” is. Like maybe I get up at three am and do a two-hour yoga practice before writing my morning pages on the deck of my tiny house with a steaming cup of bulletproof coffee or something.
“I roll over and check texts on my iPhone”, I answered. Because it’s true. That’s where my friends live.
Of course I manage to do All The Health Things throughout the day. In fact, I execute on the basics like a goddamn wizard of breathing, hydrating, movement, stillness and digestive care. But I’m more realistic than monastic. I do those things with a casualty that is more like The Dude drinking milk out of the carton *inside* the grocery store. I ABIDE.
It’s how I teach my busy clients to handle it as well. Let’s be honest, we’re too tired to be enlightened. And who wants to wear “many hats”. We only have one head.
And even in order to do the things casually, we still need a ton of support.
My support system is accumulated and curated kinship rather than blood born. I have more to say on kinship after a killer conversation about such things with Natalya Pemberton and Marianne Elliott by the way. It’s along the lines of what family structure means to the overall efficacy of economic, health, education, and penal systems globally. Not to hammer the introversion thing into the ground, but this is how introverts do small talk FTW.
So anyway, these days support is looking like this:
1. Janelle Hanchett’s writing group and I committed to writing five hundred words a day. It’s really hard, I’m not going to lie. But it’s (mostly) happening. It’s online so I can manage the group interaction buried in a hoodie.
2. Extending that useful accountability with Kristen Kalp’s Calling to The Deep. This one is going to be good, you guys. You get to set your own goals, whatever it is that you need to do but can’t seem to tackle alone, and do it for sixty-nine days straight – in addition to so much other goodness along some very smart business-as-spiritual-practice lines. Just think of what you could accomplish! Actually, it would be rad if you would join me on this one so we can resist our good work but do it anyway together! (Also, I’m super honored to be one of her guest interviews in the program – so we may get to interact all kinds of ways).
3. Nutrition like crazy. We need all the help we can get. I told you last time I wrote about the new supplements I am still excited as ever about. And, now, all of the people that signed up last time are reporting their excitement as well. Life Equals is high-quality, purpose-driven, mega-effective, and also has fantastic packaging. (Yeah, I know that packaging shouldn’t be a factor in choosing your vitamins, but let’s be honest. Great design is icing on any product cake, and theirs is awesome). My favorites are the Women’s Multi, Omega 3, and Probiotics.
4. Books. Books. Books. Duh.
On Writing by Stephen King (how did I not read this until now?)
Let’s Get Free: A Hip Hop Theory of Justice by Paul Butler (still on my “transcend racism kick” because it’s not a kick. It’s a fucking necessity.)
5. And of course, text messaging and the internet in general. Despite the lamenting about face-to-face interaction being threatened by screens, texting gives me the ability to have deep and meaningful relationships from my single mom post-up at home and it’s everything to me. It’s my lifeline. I’m insanely grateful to the wifi gods for the fact that I have a job and connections to people I can’t believe I get to know.
You deserve all the love. Carry on.