OK. So you know about Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, right? That pyramid that has physiological/safety issues at its base, and self actualization at its peak?
The pyramid that you saw for the first time and thought, “I don’t need to worry about the bottom bits. I have privilege, extra virgin olive oil, thread counts, and friends!”
And then you went back to getting an education or doing some extra curricular activities?
It’s easy to write off the fundamentals of security as unimportant, or inapplicable. After all, you’re not homeless or a refugee. Someone out there has it way worse, right? Who are you to complain about your safety?
And you’re not so wrong. In a very pragmatic way, your stuff is *less* of a concern than the sorts of things someone who is legitimately living without solace of any kind would deal with.
But, ignoring your needs like a myopic mole leads to more misery than service. As my dear friend and coach, Maleah Krishnaswami says, “The body always keeps the score.”
The fact is, there are plenty of ways your foundation can be rocked. Maybe you’re financially stressed, your job sucks, or you’re fighting with your person? Maybe your car is broken, you dropped your phone in the toilet, or the WiFi took a hiatus and you have to spend four hours on the phone with Comcast? Perhaps the pressures of parenting are crushing you, your application for the apartment you wanted was denied, or you’re deep-grieving the loss of a dear friend, or member of your family. There are so many things, even in your modern life, that can destabilize your confidence in a safe and functional world.
Also, please don’t underestimate how stressful it can be to see others hurting. It can make you discount your own security measures, and the powerlessness of not knowing how to help is truly distressing. To some, it’s debilitating.
You are empathetic, and your sensitivity is both an asset– and if unprotected or unappreciated – a liability. Self care is non-negotiable for you.
Radical self care to stabilize your feelings is the trade-off for not being a sociopath. So… it could be worse?
Anyway. Here’s the thing: I want you to be able to help – yourself, and others. I want you to be able to fully inhabit your own body, your own life, to such an extent that you can recognize your own suffering, cure what can be cured, and endure what cannot.
So you can get on with the business of being useful.
Whether that’s smashing the patriarchy, or perfecting your tuna casserole.
I want you to be able to take such good care of yourself that you don’t flinch in the face of triggering discomfort, but instead are able to integrate new knowledge, eliminate old stories, and be in real, actionable service. Whatever that means in your life.
For all practical purposes, it simply means *not* being a dick!
So take another look at that pyramid and instead of climbing like a ladder, consider what it would be like to inhabit the whole thing. All at once.
It looks like elite-level embodiment. It looks like regular execution of the basics, like having a strong base to *support* all that loving, creative, relational, and actualized thinking.
Here’s a graphic I made for you. Because I want you to see the connection between the pyramid, and your own body.
Notice how the peak of the pyramid is over the head. Where you *probably* spend most of your time – thinking, talking, listening, looking at, smelling, and tasting stuff….
A lot can happen there. It can be very engaging. But it’s a TINY portion of the whole space!
No wonder you feel so constricted and stressed. It’s like having a mansion and only living in the attic. LOOK AT ALL THE SPACE YOU HAVE AVAILABLE TO RAMBLE AROUND IN, TO STORE MORE GREAT IDEAS. TO LOUNGE.
Lounging should be taken very seriously.
So, what if you were able to inhabit your entire body at once? From the soles of your feet to the crown of your head. What about the entire shape of your life?
Can you see how this connects to being able to adequately and fairly maintain your various needs? And how the maintenance of your needs can literally make you a more spacious, thoughtful, relaxed, lighter, and successful person???
Well, if you don’t now, you will. Because I’ve been hard at work with my wheelhouse of geniuses creating Embodiment 101 – an awesome new audio series for you to easily, and affordably, habituate the inhabitation of your own skin.
Your body: the vehicle you have to walk the planet, to give, and receive love.
It is the gateway to freedom.
The gateway to service.
The gateway to peace.
Seriously, you incredibly amazing creature …. I feel so blessed to be walking the earth with you and cannot wait for the chance to say lovely, calming, inspiring, and life-altering things into your good ears.
You deserve all the love.
Questions? Comment below. I love hearing from you.