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Health Coach Real Talk (spoiler: it’s not about massaging kale)

Health Coach Real Talk (spoiler: it’s not about massaging kale)

Being a health coach is amazing, and often surprising, work.

Most people think health coaches are folks who will make you quit eating ice cream, force you to massage the kale, and do many burpees.

Who the hell wants to massage a salad? That’s zero percent sexy!

And, certainly, there are health coaches who do that for clients that desire it. (Even massaging kale has benefits).


I work on a deeper energetic pattern. The stories of your body, your lifestyle, your culture, and your community to create a snapshot of where you are so that the practices we put into place WILL ACTUALLY WORK because they are realistic and effective FOR YOU.

And in six years of doing this, even I’ve been surprised by the things I offer the most to my clients. The women who tend to find their way into my care are often overachievers who think they’re lazy. They don’t even know they’re overachieving because there is SO MUCH MORE TO DO ALWAYS AND FOREVER. The “not enough” is the most common thread, and it’s pandemic.

I refuse to teach these women to do more, to give them more work on top of the relentless demands they’re already facing.

Usually, the answer is in getting their nervous systems calm and grounded, and then going all out in an effort to add JOY to their lives.

If you carry joy in your heart, you can heal any moment” – Carlos Santana


So, here are a few of the things I most often suggest to my clients.

1. Laugh 

It is a profound act of resistance in dark times to cultivate your strength *and* your warmth. Take your work seriously. Take yourself lightly. SEEK JOY in all places, in all people.

2. Have Sex

Whether you’re doing it with someone else, or by yourself, it’s important. In fact, it doesn’t even have to be the actual act, it can be the way that you express your own creativity. The U.S. is a hotbed of sexual frustration, dysfunction, rape, and puritanical/porny ideas about the body. One of the most important things I’ve been able to remind (my mostly female) clients, is the importance of sex and sexuality as a tool to stay rooted, grounded, connected, relaxed, and embodied. We have very few opportunities while on the earth plane to experience divine connection and sex is one of them. Of course, like all powerful medicine, sex must be treated with significant reverence, and unconditional respect for practice and partners.

I’ve sent this link to more women than I even remember right now. You’re welks, Lelo!

3. Consume Cannabis

I’ve been giving women permission to use weed for years. Taking the charge out of our stories of addiction and self-destruction can help us to change the way we consume both food and medicine. Since legality in my state, I’ve come to understand so much more about the benefits of cannabis as food and medicine. Cannabis contains cannabinoids (like the most commonly discussed THC and CBD) that fit into cannabinoid receptors in our body. These receptors make up the Endocannabinoid System. It’s a system that, among other things, works to maintain homeostasis in all the other systems. To sum up: there is a plant that contains a nutrient that our body requires to heal itself. The results of medicinal cannabis on patients are almost miraculous in efficacy because it’s primarily nourishing a malnourished system of self-healing. I still think it’s hilarious that I advocate for cannabis as part of a healthy diet, but this is our life now. These are the days for a radical return to a more natural normal.

:::I have loads to say about this one and am running a donation-based group full of awesome folks, resources, live calls, and regular live video downloads from me as I go through an immersive educational experience. Like: I’m heading to the Cannabis Science Conference this week to listen to some of the nation’s top docs and analysts! So excited! And will be sharing all the things with the group. This group ends in October. I’m accepting new members! Go here for more info and to join us! 

4. Drink Water

Water is life. Water is of the source. Water may even be The Source. Water will fit in any container, yet cannot be contained. Water is tenacious and given enough time can carve canyons, move mountains. You are mostly water. Feed the fabric of yourself with all that.

Clients regularly ask how to drink more water. The answer is really just put it in your fucking mouth. But, yeah, you can do herbal tea, or add cucumber, or get a sweet new water bottle. Also: Your mouth. Right now.

5. Eat Food

Eat as well as you possibly can. Eat many vegetables and few preservatives. Eat things that are as close to their original form as possible, from places and people that prepare things with love. Eat what you enjoy. Eat with people you love, even if you’re alone. Say grace. Feed others.

6. Supplement Well

It’s damn near impossible to get everything you need to thrive into your body in a day with food alone so I highly recommend simple supplements.

I love love Life Equals and am a proud ambassador for them. My most suggested (and personal faves) are:
Balance Shots
Omega 3s
Women’s Multi Vitamins

Also, I recommend but don’t ambassador

::: For 75% off your first subscription at Life Equals use code WOR50 !!

7. Nap

Sleep isn’t parking your body in bed like a car in a garage, lights out and silent until you pick it up in the morning and do “real” things. Sleep is full of processes known, and unknown, that correlate to our ability to function effectively, creatively, peacefully in our waking times.

In fact, the whole believing only in what you can see with your waking eyes is starting to sound like a kind of arrested development. Our personal perception is only a wee slice of reality!

One of my favorite permissions to give my health coaching clients is the option to tell anyone at anytime, “I’m going to lie flat for fifteen”, and then to walk away and do it no matter what judgment you feel from yourself or others. Your rest and recovery *is* your strength. Also it feels really good. Whoever is responsible for the glorification of busy and the demonization of naps as lazy (stares hard at the patriarchy) should be smashed.

You could scroll your feeds for fifteen or give yourself some real, deep, silence and rest. Yes, you will get back up and everything will get done. Swear.

8. Sound Healing

Sound healing might be the weirdest most woo thing I suggest to people, but it’s been one of the most useful tools in my health coaching wheelhouse. I started going to live sound healing sessions (think: people playing sacred instruments around and over the body while you lay on the floor, eyes covered). Sound vibrations work on the water element of our being and we already covered the fact that we are all water. So sounds of particular frequencies can reboot our systems from the frenetic frequencies of modern life, to something far more calm and centered. Now, I supplement those experiences with the internets. This is one of my favorites. I have this in my ear holes before sleep several times a week.

9. Find Support

It’s not about what you know, it’s about who is supporting you.

Stable, sustainable, vibrant,  intuitive health is not boring at all. It’s full of pleasure, joy, peace, and connection.

It’s a real gift to do this deep work with with my clients. It’s always a delightful surprise to them when they realize that it’s the beginning, not the end, of indulgence. And it’s my favorite being the guide on that journey.

Is loving guidance what you need right now? Would a consistent ally offering practical solutions and powerful reframes be the exact push over the fence for you?

“You’re kinduva miracle, btdubs, because you work in weird wily ways — like, suddenly I am eating better food. and drinking more water. and the shame is sort of disappearing. (My shame surrounding fatness/food). Like all the sudden I felt LOVE for my body instead of loathing and THAT is why I wanted to nourish it. I’m less interested in punishment.”
Janelle Hanchett

Here’s my calendar link to set up your no-cost / no commitment 30 minute discovery call to see if we’re a good fit.

Looking so forward to whatever is next for us. The gains and the losses, the joys and the sorrows. The loving and the losing. It’s what makes it all so rich, so meaningful, so present.

You are so dearly appreciated.

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Free Your Mind. Your Ass Will Follow.

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